A woman visits her accountant to file her taxes. He asks her, “What’s your occupation?”

The woman says, “I’m a hooker.”

The accountant balks and says, “Oh, that’s too crass. Let’s try to rephrase it.”

“How about ‘prostitute’” the woman suggests.

“That’s still too crude,” he says.

They both think for a minute, then the woman blurts out, “Let’s say I’m a chicken farmer.”

“What does chicken farming have to do with being a prostitute?” the accountant asks incredulously.

The woman answers, “I raised over 5,000 cocks last year.”

Mike Boggs
Scotland, PA

What’s the difference between a hooker, a nymphomaniac, and a sorority sister?

The hooker says, ”Are you done already?”
The nympho says, ”Oh no! You’re not done already!?”
The sorority sister says, ”Beige. I think I’ll paint the ceiling beige.”

Little Johnny returned home from school, informing his father that he received an F in arithmetic and a stern spanking.

“What happened?” asked the father.

“Well,” little Johnny said, “the teacher asked ‘How much is two times three?’ and I said ‘six.’”

“But that’s right!” said the father.

“Then,” said little Johnny, “she asked me, ‘How much is three times two?’”

“What’s the fucking difference?” asked the father.

“That’s what I said!”

Alex J.
Atlanta, GA

How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to you!

This is crazy. A street dancer knocks over a child that gets in his way. I’ve watched this at least 20 times and I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.