Why did the gynecologist go to the eye doctor?

Because things were looking a little fuzzy.

One Sunday morning, a little girl and her mother go to church. Halfway through, the little girl tells her mother she’s going to be sick. Her mother tells her to go in the bushes behind the church. The girl leaves and comes back after about five minutes. Her mother asks her if she threw up.

”Yes,” the girl says. “But I didn’t have to go all the way ’round the back. There was a box near the front door that said ‘For the Sick.”’

Why is the N.I.H. (National Institute of Health) substituting rats with lawyers for lab tests?
Three reasons:
1. There are more lawers then rats.
2. When rats die many lab techies feel bad for them.
3. There are some things a rat will not do.

What’s the difference between the Atlantic Coast and a blonde?

The Atlantic Coast would never have that many crabs!!

Two buddies walk into a bar an

Nursery Crimes:

Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie,
kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
they didnt know that Georgie was gay.

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, was he pushed,
or did he fall?
I pushed him.

Mary had a little lamb,
she tied it to a pilon.
1000 volts went up its arse,
and turned it in to nylon.

Baa baa black sheep,
have you any wool?
Yes sir yes sir,
two balls full.

What’s the difference between a nun on her knees in a church, and a woman on her knees in a bathtub?

The nun has hope in her soul and the woman has soap in her hole.

What do sex and a savings account have in common?

Once you withdraw you lose interest.

What’s 72?

69 with 3 people watching!

Yo’ mama so fat, mountain climbers climb the Himalayas for practice before climbing her!