Whats another name for a push-up bra?
False advertisement.

There was a blonde, two brunettes, and redhead in a 400 meter relay. The starter said, “On your mark, get set, go.” The blonde ran all the way around and said, “It was a 400 meter race, wasn’t it?”

On a senior citizens bus tour, while the passengers were unloading to do some sightseeing, one elderly lady stopped and whispered in the driver’s ear.

She said, ”Driver, I believe that I was sexually harassed!” The driver didn’t think much of her complaint, but promised he would check into it soon.

Later, that same day, as the passengers were unloading again, a second little old lady bent down and whispered in his ear, ”Sir, I believe I was sexually harassed!” This time, he figured he’d better look into it.

A few passengers had remained on the bus, and he decided to go back and question them, to find out if they knew what was going on.

He found one little old man crawling along the bus floor beneath the seats and stooped down to question him. ”Excuse me sir, could I help you?”

The elderly man looked up and said, ”Well, sonny you sure can. I’ve lost my toupee and I’m trying to find it…”

The man continued, “I thought I’d located it twice, but they were parted in the middle, and mine is parted on the side!”

Mrs. Andrews named her cat Love because it was so affectionate. One day, when Love failed to return home, Mrs. Andrews went out to look for her lost cat. Since she was wearing nothing but a bathrobe, a police officer stopped her and asked, “What are you doing?” Mrs. Andrews replied, “I was out here looking for Love.” The police officer arrested her on the spot.

Q: Why did the blonde sell her television?

A: To buy a VCR!

Sound Factory
Q: How do you make a cat go woof?
A: Douse it with gasoline and toss it into a fireplace.

John Kelly
San Francisco, CA