A man asked a blonde what she thought about blonde jokes.

She replied, ”I think they are good but they might be offensive to some mexicans.”

What did the blonde say when she saw a box Cheerios?

“Neato…Doughnut seeds!”

What does a blonde do when her computer freezes?

She sticks it in the microwave.

How do you know when a blondes been having a bad day?

Shes got a tampon behind her ear, and she’s lookin 4 her pencil.

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a “handywoman,” and started canvassing a nearby affluent neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

“Well, how much do you want to paint my porch?” he asked.

The blonde, after surveying, responded, “How about $50?”

The man agreed, and told her that the paint and other materials that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?”

The man replied, “She should. She was standing right there.”

A short time later the blonde came to the door to collect her money. “You’re finished already?” the husband asked.

“Yes,” the blonde replied, “and I had lots of extra paint left over, so I gave it another two coats.”

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.

“And by the way,” the blonde adds as she purses her earnings, “it’s not a Porch, it’s a Lexus.”

John Tynsky
Quartz Hill, CA

What do you call a blonde with a half a brain?

Gifted!

Two tourists were traveling through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town’s name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee, ”Before we order could you settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly.” The blonde leaned over and said ”Burrrrrrr Gurrrrrr Kingggg.”

What does a blonde say when she finds out she’s pregnant?

Are you sure it’s mine?

A blonde came home from school one day and said to her mom, ”I can count higher then all the kids in my second grade class, do you think it is because I am a blonde?”

Her mother replied, ”Of couse it is, dear.”

The next day, the blonde said, ”I can say the alphabet higher then anyone in my class, do you think it is because I am a blonde?”

Her mother replied, ”Of course it is dear!”

The next day the blonde came home from her gymnastics and asked her mother, ”I have a larger chest then all the kids in my class, do you think its because I am a blonde?”

Her mother replied, ”No dear, I think it is because you are eighteen years old.”

Returning home from work, a blonde is shocked to find her house burglarized. She telephones the police, and a nearby K-9 unit is the first to respond. As the officer and dog approach the house, the woman storms out onto the porch and shouts, “I get robbed, I call the police for help, and they send me a blind cop?”

Chris Duryee
Elizabeth, NJ