A brunette was jumping along railroad tracks, saying, “21, 21, 21.” A blonde comes along and starts doing the same thing. They hear a train and the brunette jumps off, but the blonde keeps jumping. The blonde gets hit and dies. After the train leaves, the brunette jumps back on saying this time, “22, 22, 22….”
A blonde went to go get her haircut wearing pair of headphones. The hairdresser tried to get her to take them off, but the blonde protested.
“You can’t take those away from me — I’ll die without them!”
The hairdresser sighed, and tried to explain how difficult it would be to cut her hair with them on, but the blonde wouldn’t budge. So she began cutting the hair around the headphones. Soon, the blonde feel asleep, and the hairdresser figured she could remove the headphones for a few minutes. But shortly thereafter, the blonde collapsed, dead on the floor. The hairdresser, confused, picked up the headphones, which were repeating “Breathe In, Breathe Out.”
Q: Why did the blonde keep taking off and putting the Pepsi bottle cap back on?
A: Because it said, ”Sorry, try again.”
There was blonde who wanted to go on a diet. She went to the doctor and asked for his advice. He said that she was going to go on a diet for three days
“Eat anything and everything you want for the first two days of your diet. Then skip the third day.”
So the blonde went home and ate anything and everything she wanted for the first two days, then she skipped the third day.
The next day she went back to the doctor and he asked her, “How is your diet?”
She said, “Well, the first two days were easy but that third day was hard. Doing all that skipping made me really tired.”
Why did the blonde take a ladder into the bar?
She heard the drinks were on the house.
One day a blonde finds out from her friend that her boyfriend is cheating on her. So one day she goes out to the mall and buys a gun. After that she goes to her boyfriend’s house. She busts down the door and points the gun at her head.
“What are you doing?” says her boyfriend.
“Shut up! You’re next!”
A tall blonde and a tall brunette are stading in an elevator. A short bald man with lots of dandruff walks in, then gets off at the next floor. The brunette says, ?Boy he could use some head and shoulders.?
The blonde says, ?Hm. How do you give shoulders??
Four blondes are driving in a minivan when it goes over a cliff. The tragedy is, the minivan could’ve held eight blondes.
Q: What do you call a hundred blondes stacked up on each other?
A: An air mattress.