Why did the boy eat his homework?

Because his teacher said it was a peace of cake.

Nursery school teacher says to her class, “Who can use the word ‘Definitely’ in a sentence?”

First a little girl says “The sky is definitely blue” Teacher says, “Sorry, Amy, but the sky can be gray, or orange…”

Second little boy…”Trees are definitely green” “Sorry, but in the autumn, the trees are brown.”

Little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and asks:

“Does a fart have lumps?”

The teacher looks horrified and says…”Johnny! Of course not!!!”

“OK…then I DEFINITELY shit my pants…”

Little girl: “Why does your son say, ‘Cluck, cluck, cluck?’”
Mother: “Because he thinks he’s a chicken.”
Little girl: “Why don’t you tell him he’s not a chicken?”
Mother: “Because we need the eggs.”

A Jewish student was doing well in school in all subjects except for Math. So his parents decide to send him to a private Catholic school.

While there the boy came home from school and studied every day. At the end of the marking period the boy got straight A’s. So his parents ask him, “What motivated you to do so well in school?”

He replied, “When I saw that guy nailed to a plus sign I knew they weren’t fooling around!”

What is more fun that stapeling babies to a wall?
Ripping them off.

What’s funnier than a zombie baby?

A zombie baby in a clown suit!

Did you hear about the boy bubble who chased the girl bubble?

He wanted to see her bust!

What do Michael Jackson and plastic bags have in common?

They are both made out of plastic and are dangerous for children to play with.

There was a little girl named Fufu.

She went to school one day and her teacher said, “How do you spell your name?”

The girl replied, “F.U. - F.U.”

Her teacher sent her to the principal’s office.

She got to the principal’s office and he said, “First off, how do you spell your name?”

She said, “F.U. - F.U.”

He said, “YOU ARE SUSPENDED!”

One day mama bear and papa bear were getting a divorce. The judge decided that baby bear was going to live with mama bear.

Baby bear started to cry . “Whats wrong?” the judge asked baby bear.

“I dont want to live with mama bear, she abuses me!” said baby bear.

“Then, you can live with papa bear” said the judge.

Baby bear started to cry even harder the judge asked him, “Whats wrong?” Baby bear replied, ” I dont want to live with papa bear he abuses me even more than mama bear does.”

“Then who do you want to live with?” asked the judge.

Baby bear replied, “I want to live with the Baylor Bears, because they don’t beat anyone!”