A Jewish student was doing well in school in all subjects except for Math. So his parents decide to send him to a private Catholic school.
While there the boy came home from school and studied every day. At the end of the marking period the boy got straight A’s. So his parents ask him, “What motivated you to do so well in school?”
He replied, “When I saw that guy nailed to a plus sign I knew they weren’t fooling around!”
What is more fun that stapeling babies to a wall?
Ripping them off.
What’s funnier than a zombie baby?
A zombie baby in a clown suit!
Did you hear about the boy bubble who chased the girl bubble?
He wanted to see her bust!
What do Michael Jackson and plastic bags have in common?
They are both made out of plastic and are dangerous for children to play with.
There was a little girl named Fufu.
She went to school one day and her teacher said, “How do you spell your name?”
The girl replied, “F.U. - F.U.”
Her teacher sent her to the principal’s office.
She got to the principal’s office and he said, “First off, how do you spell your name?”
She said, “F.U. - F.U.”
He said, “YOU ARE SUSPENDED!”
One day mama bear and papa bear were getting a divorce. The judge decided that baby bear was going to live with mama bear.
Baby bear started to cry . “Whats wrong?” the judge asked baby bear.
“I dont want to live with mama bear, she abuses me!” said baby bear.
“Then, you can live with papa bear” said the judge.
Baby bear started to cry even harder the judge asked him, “Whats wrong?” Baby bear replied, ” I dont want to live with papa bear he abuses me even more than mama bear does.”
“Then who do you want to live with?” asked the judge.
Baby bear replied, “I want to live with the Baylor Bears, because they don’t beat anyone!”
In school one day, the teacher decided that in science class she would teach about the elements. So she stood in the front of the class and said, “Children, if you could have one raw element in the world what would it be?”
Little Stevie raised his hand and said, “I would want gold, because gold is worth a lot of money and I could buy a Porsche.”
The teacher nodded and called on little Susie.
Little Susie said, “I would want platinum, because platinum is worth more than gold and I could buy a Corvette”
The teacher smiled and then called on Little Johnny. Little Johnny stood up and said, “I would want silicon.”
The teacher said, “Why Johnny?”
He responded by saying, “Because my mom has two bags of it and you should see all the sports cars outside our house!”
Q: What did the Hispanic fireman name his twin boys?
A: Hose A & Hose B!
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.