Archive for Insults

Gas for Brains

If gas were brains you wouldn’t be able to power a toy car around a fly.

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You So Ugly

You so ugly, when you were born, the doctor slapped yo’ mama!

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Jumpin’ Jumpin’

You’re so skinny, you can jump through your asshole!

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Gaptooth

The gap between your teeth is so big, I don’t know whether to smile back at you or kick a field goal.

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Baaaaad Breath

Yo’ breath so stank, it’s like your tongue farted!

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You’re So Fat… Bleed

You’re so fat that you bleed chocolate milk.

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Insult

You’re so short you’re the last one to know when it rains

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Laughing Washing Machine

Why was the washing machine laughing? Because it was taking the piss out of the pants.

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You So Fat…Scale

You are so fat, that when you step on a scale and it says, “One at a Time PLEASE!”

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Ten O’Clock All Over the World

In America, they say it’s 10:00 do you know where your children are?
In England, they say it’s 10:00 do you know where your husband is?
In Paris, they say it’s 10:00 do you know where your wife is?
And in Poland, they say it’s 10:00 do you know what time it is?

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