Yo’ breath so stank, it’s like your tongue farted!

You’re so fat that you bleed chocolate milk.

You’re so short you’re the last one to know when it rains

If gas were brains you wouldn’t be able to power a toy car around a fly.

Why was the washing machine laughing? Because it was taking the piss out of the pants.

You are so fat, that when you step on a scale and it says, “One at a Time PLEASE!”

In America, they say it’s 10:00 do you know where your children are?
In England, they say it’s 10:00 do you know where your husband is?
In Paris, they say it’s 10:00 do you know where your wife is?
And in Poland, they say it’s 10:00 do you know what time it is?

You sing so well you belong on a stage……. coach one leaves in five minutes!

Yo’ daddy is so fat the only train he can travel is the GRAVY TRAIN.

You’re so ugly you could sell your body to science fiction movies.