If gas were brains you wouldn’t be able to power a toy car around a fly.

You so ugly, when you were born, the doctor slapped yo’ mama!

You’re so skinny, you can jump through your asshole!

The gap between your teeth is so big, I don’t know whether to smile back at you or kick a field goal.

Yo’ breath so stank, it’s like your tongue farted!

You’re so fat that you bleed chocolate milk.

You’re so short you’re the last one to know when it rains

Why was the washing machine laughing? Because it was taking the piss out of the pants.

You are so fat, that when you step on a scale and it says, “One at a Time PLEASE!”

In America, they say it’s 10:00 do you know where your children are?
In England, they say it’s 10:00 do you know where your husband is?
In Paris, they say it’s 10:00 do you know where your wife is?
And in Poland, they say it’s 10:00 do you know what time it is?