MisterJoke » Lawyer

Lawyers Stinkin’ Up the Place

webmaster — Mon, 17 Jan 2011 09:00:02 +0000

Why do you need only two pallbearers at a lawyer’s funeral?
There are only two handles on a garbage can.

A Lawyer and A Politician

webmaster — Sat, 13 Nov 2010 09:00:05 +0000

What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician?
Chelsea Clinton.

Justice Prevailed

webmaster — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 08:00:05 +0000

A junior partner in a law firm was sent to a far away country to represent a long-term client accused of robbery. After days of trial, the case was won, the client acquitted and released.

Excited about his success, the attorney e-mailed the firm: ?Justice prevailed.?

The senior partner replied in haste, ?Appeal immediately.?

Legalese

webmaster — Wed, 12 May 2010 08:00:06 +0000

Definition of a Lawyer: A person who puts two men into a fight and runs off with their clothes.

Lawyers and Lightbulbs

webmaster — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 09:00:04 +0000

Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw a light bulb?
A: One but it has to have a good case.

Lawyers’ Birth Control

webmaster — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 09:00:12 +0000

Q: What do lawyers use as contraceptives?

A: Their personalities.

Lawyers’ Lucky Break

webmaster — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 09:00:05 +0000

Q: What is the definition "lucky break?"
A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.

Q: What is the definition of a "crying shame"?
A: There was an empty seat.

Lawyer or Ass?

webmaster — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 09:00:05 +0000

A man walks into a bar and he’s really pissed. The bartender gives him a drink and asks what the problem is. All he says is, “All lawyers are assholes.”

A man sitting in the corner shouts, “I take offense to that!”

The pissed-off guy asks him, “Why? Are you a lawyer?”

He replies, “No, I’m an asshole.”

Four surgeons were taking a

webmaster — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 09:00:06 +0000

Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work.
The first said, “I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered.”
The second said, “I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order.”
The third said, “I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded.”
The fourth one said, “I like to operate on lawyers. They’re heartless, spineless, gutless, and their heads and their ass are interchangeable.”

Lawyers Love Sushi!

webmaster — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 09:00:05 +0000

Hear about the new sushi bar that caters exclusively to lawyers?

It’s called, Sosumi.