Three midgets are in a bar arguing. The first midget says, I have the smallest hands in the world!
The second midget says, I have the smallest feet in the world!
The third says, I have the smallest penis in the world!

Well, they keep arguing for a few more minutes and finally the bartender says, I know, why donÆt you three just go to the Guinness Book of World RecordÆs headquarters and settle it there. So, they do.

The first midget goes in and comes back out with a certificate and states, I do have the smallest hands in the world!
The second midget goes in and comes back out with a certificate and exclaims, I do have the smallest feet in the world!
The third midget goes in and comes back out with a glum look on his face. The first midget asks, DidnÆt you have the smallest penis in the world?

The third midget says, No, and who the fuck are the Backstreet Boys?

One morning a man tells a coworker that her hair smells nice. The woman gets enraged, storms into her supervisorÆs office, and declares sheÆs filing a sexual harassment suit. Come on, says the supervisor. WhatÆs wrong with a guy telling you your hair smells nice? HeÆs a fucking midget!

Q: What did the seven dwarfs say when the prince awakened Snow White?
A: I guess itÆs back to jerking off.