Cork of Fate

One day in the locker room, Bob sees a fat man with a cork in his ass. Curious, he asks the man how it got there.

"Well," says the man, "I was walking along the beach when I tripped over a lamp. There was a puff of smoke and this great big guy in a turban came oozing out, saying, ‘I am a genie. I can grant you one wish.’ And I said, ‘No shit!’"