Coyote Ugly

A guy starts a new job, and his boss says, “If you marry my daughter, I’ll make you a partner and give you a $1 million salary.”

The guy’s puzzled, until he sees a picture of the girl—she’s hideous. But he accepts, figuring the money’s worth it, and they get married.

A year later the guy’s up on a ladder hanging a picture and yells to his wife, “Bring me my hammer.”

She mumbles, “Get the hammer, get the hammer,” and grudgingly fetches the hammer.

The guy says, “Hand me the nails.”

She mumbles, “Get me some nails, get me some nails,” and does so.

The guy starts hammering, hits his thumb, and yells, “Ow! Fuck me!”

She shuffles off, mumbling, “Get the bag, get the bag…”
—Santiago Gomez, Seguin, TX