Know-It-All
One morning an exchange student from Japan joins a high school.

After introducing Suzuki to the class, the teacher says, “Let’s begin by reviewing some American history. Who said ‘Give me liberty, or give me death’?” Only Suzuki raises his hand.

“Yes, Suzuki?” asks the teacher.

“Patrick Henry, 1775,” he answers.

“Class, you should be ashamed,” snaps the teacher. “Suzuki is new to our country and knows more about it than you do.”

“Screw the Japs,” whispers a student.

“Who said that?” snaps the teacher.

Suzuki raises his hand, eyes the room, and says, “Lee Iacocca, 1982.”

A student in the back quips, “I think I’m gonna puke.”

“Who said that?” yells the teacher.

“George Bush, 1991,” Suzuki yelps.

“Oh, yeah? Suck this!” shouts a frustrated student.

Suzuki stands up and declares, “Bill Clinton, 1997!”

Another student screams, “You little shit. If you say one more word, I swear I’ll kill you!”

Suzuki jumps on the chair and yells, “Gary Condit, 2001!”

Paul Gill
via e-mail