Yo mama’s so fat, she sells shade.

What do you call the moisture between two people having sex in Alabama?

Relative humidity

Teacher: "Four crows are on the fence. The farmer shoots one. How many are left?"

Little Johnny: "None."

Teacher: "Listen carefully: Four crows are on the fence. The farmer shoots one. How many are left?"

Little Johnny: "None."

Teacher: "Can you explain that answer?"

Little Johnny: "One is shot, the others fly away. There are none left."

Teacher: "Well, that isn’t the correct answer, but I like the way you think"

Little Johnny: "Teacher, can I ask a question?"

Teacher: "Sure."

Little Johnny: "There are three women at the ice cream parlor. One is licking, one is biting and one is sucking her ice cream cone. Which one is married?"

Teacher: "The one sucking the cone."

Little Johnny; "No. The one with the wedding ring on, but I like the way you think."

Yo mama’s so dumb, she tried to drown her pet fish.

A reporter is interviewing an old man in Arkansas and asks for a funny story.

“Well, there was that time one of ol’ Ted’s sheep got lost in the woods,” says the old-timer. “The boys got together, brought a few jugs of moonshine, and went looking for it. By the time we found the sheep, we were so drunk we took turns screwin’ it till we passed out.”

“My god!” the reporter exclaims. “I can’t print that in a respectable paper! Do you have any sad stories?”

The old man’s eyes well up with tears. “Well, there was that time I got lost in the woods…”

Kenyatta Hughes
Steamburg, NY

Why does the blonde throw breadcrumbs in the toilet every morning?

To feed the toilet duck!

Yo mama is so ghetto, she does wheelies in her 10 speed.

Pink Plastic Passion

Q: Why didn’t Barbie ever get pregnant?

A: Because Ken came in a different box.

An Avon Lady was delivering products in a high-rise and was riding in the elevator. Suddenly, she had the powerful urge to fart. Since no one was in the elevator, she let it go – and it was a doozy.

Of course, the elevator then stopped at the next floor, so she quickly used some Avon Pine-Scented Spray to cover up the smell. A man entered the elevator and immediately made a face.

“Holy cow! What’s that smell?”

“I don’t know, sir. I don’t smell anything. What does it smell like to you?”

“Like someone crapped a Christmas tree.”

What’s the difference between a hobo and a homo?
A hobo has no friends and a homo has friends up the ass!