Why are blonde jokes so short?

So that brunettes can remember them.

An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. An American Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a “Ye-e-e-e ha-a-a-a” so loud that it echoed from the surrounding hills. When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final “Ye-e-e-e ha-a-a-a!” and rode off.

“What did you do to get that Indian so excited?” asked the service-station attendant.

“Nothing. I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn’t fall off,” the woman answered.

“Lady,” the attendant said, “Indians ride bareback.”

Skip Griffin
Propect, CT

Q: What’s the worst way to get a headache?

A: When she sneezes.

Your armpits are so smelly they make speedstick slow down and think about it.

Two hookers were riding around town with a sign on top of their car that said, ”TWO PROSTITUTES — $50.00.” A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they’d either have to remove the sign or go to jail. Just at that moment, another car passed with a sign saying, ”JESUS SAVES.” The hookers asked the cop why he let the other car go and he said, ”Well, that’s a little different, it pertains to religion.” So the two ladies took their sign down and drove off.
The following day the same cop in the area noticed the two ladies driving aound with a large sign on their car again. Figuring he had an easy bust, he began to catch up with them when he noticed the new sign which read, ”TWO ANGELS SEEKING PETER — $50.00.”

Q: How many nurses does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Twelve: One to do it. one to chart it. ten to write the policy and procedure.

Q: How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Twenty: one primary care physican to change it and 19 specialists to take it apart and look at it under a microscope.

Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk. Both are dragging their right foot as they walk.

As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points to his foot and says, Vietnam, 1969.”

The other points his thumb behind him and says, “Dog crap, 20 feet back.”

You might be a redneck if Jack Daniels makes your list of ”Most Admired People!”

An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness. Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and one lands in each of the pints.

The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away and demands another pint.

The Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow.

The Irishman reaches in to the glass, pinches the fly between his fingers and shakes him while yelling, "Spit it out, ya bastard! Spit it out!"

One day, the phone rang, and a little boy answered.

“May I speak to your parents?”

“They’re busy.”

“Oh. Is anybody else there?”

“The police.”

“Can I speak to them?”

“They’re busy.”

“Oh. Is anybody else there?”

“The firemen.”

“Can I speak to them?”

“They’re busy.”

“So let me get this straight — your parents, the police, and the firemen are there, but they’re all busy? What are they doing?”

“Looking for me.”